I am now going to summarize, as concisely as possible and using actual quotes, why Ultimates should be rated UNSUITABLE FOR EVERYBODY:

Captain America, main continuity: “I’ve seen a lot of combat…and I’d seen a lot before I got to France…but the savagery inflicted on these people. I never saw anything like it until we got to Buchenwald. That’s why it really galls me when I hear my own people dismiss the French as cowards. We’re talking about a people who never gave up fighting the Nazi occupation. Their county may have surrendered, but they didn’t.”

Captain America, Ultimate continuity: “Surrender? Surrender??!! You think this letter on my head stands for France?”